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Writer's pictureElissa Felder

"Learn from Experience"


"Learn from Experience"


Joseph recognizes his brothers when they come to Egypt, 

to buy food but they do not recognize him.

He gives them grain and then

he demands that Benjamin (his full brother) be brought to Egypt.

The brothers relate this request to Jacob who 

at first refuses to let Benjamin go.

Benjamin is the only surviving son from his beloved wife, Rachel

who had died in childbirth.

Jacob is so attached and bound up with Benjamin that he is steadfast

on keeping him close and not wanting him to leave.


As much as Jacob had never given up hope that Joseph was still alive,

he also was very aware of the story his sons had told him that 

Joseph had been ravaged by wild animals.

He fears that Joseph is dead and yet he

also continues to dream that he is still alive somewhere.

The possibility of losing the only other remaining child of Rachel

was too much to bear, too much to risk, too much to ask.


However, the increasing famine forced Jacob 

to concede to Benjamin traveling to Egypt.

He only agrees when

Judah offers to guarantee his safe return.

Reuven also offered to be the guarantor but his offer

was not accepted. Why accept Judah’s offer and not that of Reuven?


Perhaps Jacob accepts Judah’s offer,

because Judah had suffered the loss of two of his sons.

Judah knew what losing a child feels like.

Judah knew, on a personal level,

what grief it would cause if

Benjamin were not to return.


Our experiences help us have insight into those of others.

When we suffer and feel loss,

we are capable of greater empathy with others.

When we are happy and our hearts are full 

we have a greater understanding of what that might feel like in others.


On Chanukah we

sit by the candles and slow down.

We meditate on the fire,

on our lives, and on the lives of others.

We think about the hiddenness of God.

We contemplate what our soul needs,

how to be whole and pure, and

what others need. 

Whilst looking at the flames we reflect on 

what it takes to ignite our souls and those of others

so that we can all shine more

brightly and more passionately. 


Our job is to reveal God in the world.

Our job is to hold space for others and to be like Judah,

who used his experiences to relate to others, to be 

sensitive to their needs, and fears and 

then know how to act accordingly.


My bracha for us all is that we learn empathy from our experiences and

are therefore able to be more compassionate and loving in

our relationships with others.


Sending only love

Shabbat shalom and Chanukah Sameach,

Elissa


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